Saturday, September 4

Pussillanimous Prince

Yep, were talkin about the dimwitted, dissolute, Dauphin, the Codpiece Crusader, the selectified, occupation Overlord, and his mad elocution, and oratorical talents. The only thing keeping us from the brink of disaster, in the ongoing war between good and evil, is our malapropistic majesty, King George.

Since I have a pony in this race, I am happy that a man in charge that comes from the "Leviticus trumps Jesus" brand of christian. His actions aren't hamstrung by inconvenient "love thy neighbor", "Ye without sin..." " the least of us" trifle. With clear conscience he can go it alone, guns ablazing, and strike at the heart of the enemy. But thats not really the subject of this humble screed, no, I want to talk about the "Ownership Society" and Opportunity Zones". I may diverge from the selected path if really juicy new policy initiatives or gross mendacitificatin' is spotted. Whoopsie daisy, here we go, a little of both:
I am running for President with a clear and positive plan to build a
safer world, and a more hopeful America. I am running with a compassionate conservative philosophy: that government should help people improve their lives, not try to run their lives. I believe this Nation wants steady, consistent, principled leadership-and that is why, with your help, we
will win this election.
Would someone please tell this man that he has been presidentin for the last 3.6 years.
And while you came to washington as a kind of tabula rasa, during your term you have been proven, neither compassionate, nor conservative. Lets see if I can get closer to the
vaunted opportunity zone. Damn, waylayed again.
This changed world can be a time of great opportunity for all
Americans to earn a better living, support your family, and have a
rewarding career. And government must take your side. Many of our most
fundamental systems-the tax code, health coverage, pension plans, worker
training-were created for the world of yesterday, not tomorrow. We will
transform these systems so that all citizens are equipped, prepared-and
thus truly free-to make your own choices and pursue your own dreams.
Ok, is it just me or does anyone else wonder if the definition of American, and citizen in bush's mind deviate from the normal definitions of these words? I am beginning to suspect that when bush uses those words, what he means is that america is kind of like a club and a Country. Wait, .... a country club. If you are not a member you aren't a real murican or citizen. That is the only way that what he said makes any sense. Lets try this again. . . . . . . . . . . . Bingo.
In this time of change, opportunity in some communities is more
distant than in others. To stand with workers in poor communities-and
those that have lost manufacturing, textile, and other jobs-we will
create American opportunity zones. In these areas, we'll provide freedom tax relief and other incentives to attract new business, and improve housing
and job training to bring hope and work throughout all of America.
When I heard this the first thing that sprang to mind was something about lebensraum and finality of solution, kind of like a No Wealthy Child Left Behind program for adults, or the obverse of a gated community. Now if this was like the American opportunity zones of post occupation Germany, I might be made sympathetic to the cause, but they way it came out of his mouth, made it sound like a new kind of Super Max Prison complex. Lets move along shall we, to the Ownership society.
In an ownership society, more people will own their health plans, and
have the confidence of owning a piece of their retirement. We will always
keep the promise of Social Security for our older workers. With the huge
Baby Boom generation approaching retirement, many of our children and
grandchildren understandably worry whether Social Security will be there
when they need it. We must strengthen Social Security by allowing younger
workers to save some of their taxes in a personal account-a nest egg you
can call your own, and government can never take away.
Wow that sounds good, I have been looking forward to owning the half of the street that is in front of my house, and own my garbage collection, water treatment, electrical utility cooperative. I'm beginning to have second thoughts about the "opportunity zones" It sounds like I could have my own. I am also excited about the possibility of bidding on some ownership "helpers", to help me with the cotton I am looking forward to cultivating in my back yard. I really like the idea that I can have things that can never be taken away from me.

Now during my steadfast viewing of this convention in a changing world, I did suffer a couple of broken bones. On Teusday night the "twins" fractured my funny bone. On Wednesday, the Zellernaut, and his Imperiousness, fractured my shame bone, but Thursday all was made well again as bush went to work on my selfish bone, and when he was done I found myself renewed.

"Screw shame, screw funny, I want my goddamn money" was a chant that suddenly found its way into my head, replacing any previous skepticism and melting my fears away.

Now friends, there you have it, America, long the land of opportunity, will have more, and ownership of your own little piece of the government, now, who can argue with the selfish bone?