Monday, October 18

I've got Goldberg on my fingers.

I made a visit to that trenchant bastard Wollcott's blog and got some goldberg under my fingernails and under my skin. I am not sure whether it's the greasy residue or the lingering oder, that I find more offensive. Making use of a "did I say that" rhetorical device, little jonah takes aim at Kerry:

"John Kerry is a sphincter. Okay, that's a bit juvenile."
--Jonah Goldberg, NRO.

"I suppose in John Kerry's world good diplomacy lets the boys in the bar finish raping the girl for fear of causing a fuss. Okay, that was unfair."
--Jonah Goldberg, NRO.

This slimeball rhetorical device should become known as the Jonah Goldberg Limited Takeback, in which you assert something vulgar and provocative, then acknowledge you stepped over the line without withdrawing the original slur. Sort of like spitting at someone, then saying, "Gee, I guess my saliva went a little too far."

Taking a page out of the goldberg files "I suppose in George Bush's world, good diplomacy lets 'a few bad apples' finish raping and torturing inoocent men, women, and children in Abu Ghraib, for fear of causing a fuss. Oh shit, that really happened? Damn, and I thought I was being cute."

Wolcotts catch, compelled me to do a little research on the fruit of lucianne's loins, and man is this kid funny, funny in the, as a heart attack, or trainwreck way. Oh to be young, conservative, and well paid for your puerile blathering. A little background on the wunderkind.
Jonah Jacob Goldberg is a conservative commentator, probably best known for his contributions on politics and culture to National Review Online, where he is the editor-at-large. He also frequently appears on television, on such shows as Good Morning America, Crossfire, Nightline, Hardball with Chris Matthews, and Politically Incorrect
Lets look at some of his famous quotes:
Great civilizations create great cathedrals, and the cathedrals of this generation should be in outer space. Cathedrals inspire rich and poor people alike to believe great things are possible. The Mars Polar Lander cost the average American the price of half a cheeseburger. A human lander would cost the average American more — perhaps even ten cheeseburgers! So be it. That is no great sacrifice.
Why is it fair game to question conservatives' love or loyalty to children or to their fellow man, but beyond the pale to question liberals' love of country?
If you’re too stupid to understand that a philosophy that favors a federally structured republic, with numerous restraints on the scope and power of government to interfere with individual rights or the free market, is a lot different from an ethnic-nationalist, atheistic, and socialist program of genocide and international aggression, you should use this rule of thumb: If someone isn’t advocating the murder of millions of people in gas chambers and a global Reich for the White Man you shouldn’t assume he’s a Nazi and you should know it’s pretty damn evil to call him one
This is the kind of boilerplate bigotry, commonly found in the circles of conservative caterwauling that garner jonah the tremendous respect required to be a rising star.

I can just see John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd working on all those Martian Cheeboyers. I can see clearly the kid who just got his ass kicked, because he thought it would be funny to put that itching powder in the other kid's jockstrap, claiming that it was unfair. I can see a tortured editor trying to make sense of his invocation of godwins law. The kid is a genius, has a fanclub, and managed to get his chubby little paws on the Lewinsky scandal. The pride is palpable oozing from every fingertip.
My mother was the one who advised Linda Tripp to record her conversations with Lewinsky and to save the dress. I was privy to some of that stuff, and when the administration set about to destroy Lewinsky, Tripp, and my mom, I defended my mom and by extension Tripp.
His National Review Online column, the "Goldberg File" (often called the "G-File" by fans, who are called "G-Philes"), frequently involves humor...... Goldberg has also been critical of the French The French Republic or France (French: République française or France) is a country whose metropolitan territory is located in western Europe, and which is further made up of a collection of overseas islands and territories located in North America, the Caribbean, South America, the western and southern Indian Ocean, the northern and southern Pacific Ocean, and Antarctica
..... Click the link for more information. and claims credit for popularizing the term "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" (first used on The Simpsons television program) to refer to them
HA HA, You see Jonah leaves no tired stone of cliché unturned searching for clever things to write, and I look forward to the day that I can lose my sense of intellectual honesty, sense of fairness, and have an inflated sense of self importance installed. Then I might be luck enough one day to ascend to the hights of right wing punditry, I can dream, can't I.